Saturday, September 29, 2007

Are you in Law school?

So last weekend I had to pull out of going to the Monterey Jazz Festival with a few friends because some stuff came up. I listed and sold the ticket at $230 on Craigslist. But when I called to get the money after the festival (the guy wanted to pay the money at the festival), I found that the guy had only given them 210. Not only that, my friend told me he tried to get out of another 10 bucks and just pay 200 until he called him out on it. I guess it was partly my fault that this happened since I hadn't told my friends how much money to get from him, but you never really expect random people to be douche bags until they exceed all expectations. Anyways, to put it bluntly, I got jipped. I called the guy and left the following message:

"Hey Chris, I think there was a little misunderstanding of how much money the ticket was being sold for. Give me a call back and we'll sort it out."

This message was way too nice. I think a good word for it would be "formality". It was a formality. I had to give the guy the benefit of a doubt. At least one. But he didn't call me back the next day so I left another message, slightly more brusque than the last:

"Chris, you owe me money. Call me."

I know, pretty mean huh? Now, maybe I jumped the gun a little bit with this one, but I guess the reality that I got jipped with no solid way of getting "unjipped" kind of rattled me (Rattled, as in "Man, I was really rattled"). I realized there was no legal way of doing this (this wasn't Ebay), so I took a risk.

The Risk

Man, this needs a whole new title line. I'm still laughing about it.

So knowing that the guy would probably never call me back, I took a risk and googled "Largest Law Firm in SF". I took down the name and number of the managing partner and proceeded to call Chris. I left this message:

"Chris, this is Sam. I'm assuming by your not returning my phone calls that you're not going to pay me the money. I'm sorry it had to come to this. My attorney will be contacting you within the next week (proceeded to give him the name and number of the firm and managing attorney that I had googled)"

Please, please reserve all judgment until you finish reading. The next morning while waiting for an appointment, I realized I'd gotten a voice message earlier and called to see who it was. I got this:

"Hey, Sam, this is Chris. Give me a call back. We need to figure some stuff out."

Right then and there, the biggest smile spread across my face as I called him back. The following is the most accurate retelling of the phone conversation that I can give, complete with commentary:

Chris: Hello?
Sam: Chris, this is Sam.
Chris: Hey Sam, I'm glad you called back.
Chris: Well, uh...(nervous chuckle) I assumed that those people were your representatives and decided to do a little "last minute negotiating"

Let me start out by saying that those were his exact words, verbatim. Notice how I took the liberty of putting them in quotations. "Last minute negotiating", from the same idiot who brought you "C as in quarter".

Sam: "Last minute negotiating"?
Chris: Yeah.
Sam: Would you have even called me back if I hadn't left you that last message Chris?
Chris: Uh... probably not.
Sam: Ok...have you contacted your representation?
Chris: My represenation?
Sam: Your representation, your attorney, your representation in court.
Chris: (Nervous chuckle) No, I haven't. Sam, why don't you give me your address and I'll send you the money as soon as I can.

At this point, I knew I had him, but I was pretty irked that he straight up admitted to what he did so I decided to mess around a little. Just a little.

Sam: You know Chris, if you had just called me back the first time or even the second time, I would've been OK with that, but it's really more about the principle for me.
Chris: Uh-huh
Sam: Because I think we can both agree that it's ridiculous to go to court over something like this.
Chris: Absolutely, I do agree.
Sam: But (I was telegraphing this "but" for the past 3 sentences) I think I'd much rather handle it in court. I think that's the best place to "negotiate" this issue.
Chris: Sam, I'm really sorry for that. I really am.
Sam: It's a little late for that Chris. I don't know what the protocol for something like this is, seeing that all we had was a verbal contract; which you broke.
Chris: I'm aware of that, but what I'm trying to do here, what should be done for any civil dispute is to talk to one another and settle the situation.
Sam: I tried to do that Chris. That's why I called you twice before and waited for you to return the call.

By this time, I didn't want to take it any further cause I could kind of tell by his sighs and nervous chuckles that he was crapping his pants. I kind of felt bad, in a redeeming type of way.

Chris: All I can say is that I'm ready to send you the money

I then proceeded to give him my information for him to send the money to me. But before we hung up, he said this:

Chris: Are you in Law school?

I could barely contain myself as I answered:

Sam: No, actually I'm a practicing attorney.
Chris: Oh, I knew it was either/or

Hahaha I hung up the phone and burst into laughter.

In retrospect, I realized I probably shouldn't have taken it any further after he told me he'd pay the money, but you guys know me.

1 comment:

Ezra said...

I remember in AP Gov't, we learned about the constitution. I remember some blurb in it about cases on money can only be brought to court if it involves a minimum of at least $20.
This is funny.

love ezra

ps. you jerk.
pps. haha.