Who loves the suburbs

On our recent trip to Davis, I remember Rich saying something along the lines of "if I had gone to UC Davis, I would have a 4.0". Now to put this into context, he wasn't dissing Davis as an academic institution, more as a place in general (Rich does not like Davis).

Needless to say, we agreed it was a pretty boring place. And to go back to what Rich said, what he was getting at is how little there was to do. Now having lived in Diamond Bar for the better part of this month, I can honestly say the same about DB.

For the past 4 weeks, I've lived in quiet desperation in a room where the lights don't even turn on (really, they just don't turn on). And by desperation, I don't mean the kind that keeps you worrying about what you'll do about that last final or paper. This is a different kind of desperation altogether. This is the kind of desperation that has you wondering when you'll see another human being again.

If you don't buy it, let me tell you what I resorted to once reading, writing, internet surfing, and TV exhausted themselves. For the past 5 or 6 years, I've kept a small-sized notebook in which I would write every single word that I didn't know the definition of. Whenever I'd hit a word I didn't know, I'd write the word and however many definitions it had in this notebook. Sometimes I'd just want to know the OED definition of a word I already knew just to have it. It was exhausting and time-consuming, but I did it nonetheless. I just needed to.

So you're probably wondering why I'm telling you this. Well, going back to how boring DB is, I've resorted to copying this notebook into an excel spreadsheet. Word by word. Definition by definition. This is my desperation.

On another note, Steatopygia is by far the funniest word I've come across so far. What could I possibly have been reading?

If

By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Putting the Recess into Recession

You know, there are a lot of reasons to be spiteful in times like these. Having just been birthed out of the college bubble that I inhabited at Berkeley, I've begun to realize that my seemingly endless line of credit and extended bouts of doing as I please won't be there for much longer. But hey, at least I have the summer.

I once told my roommate Ezra that whenever I was consciously entering a new phase of my life, I would let out a huge sigh, you know, like one of those douchey audible ones. I guess as of right now I'm letting out a long extended summer-long douchey audible sigh, one that encapsulates both the past four years and the rest of my life.

The big question for me has always been "what the hell are you going to do with your life". After four years, I'd like to think that I've come full circle back to my freshman pipe dream. But upon closer introspection, I realize that's just my hindsight bias kicking in. It's time to commit (let out intentional douchey audible sigh).

"Relationships are meant to end"

This is what a close friend (who shall remain nameless) once told me after I had just broken up with my girlfriend. And while they may not be the most comforting words of wisdom. I understood what he was getting at. For everyone, there are relationships that you're glad you maintained and cherished and there are those that you regret you hadn't (there are other types, but for the sake of brevity and keeping this post a positive one, I won't expound).

Sadly, I've been realizing that many of the relationships that I hoped would continue simply aren't. But I guess that's just a natural part of life. Just before leaving Berkeley for probably the second to last time, I stood staring at my empty apartment and began to think about all the memories. I guess there are some things that you can never keep with you no matter how hard you try. Relationships are much like memories in that regard. But one thing you can keep with you is how you felt. For me at least, a lot of the time memories are just feelings. Certain feelings come to mind when I think back upon relationships that no longer exist. It's unfortunate, but that's life I guess. To all, here's to the rest of our lives and thanks for the memories.